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Dear all,

ONE WEEK MORE.

I JUST NEED TO HOLD OUT FOR ONE MORE WEEK.

C’MON ANNETTE, YOU’RE SO CLOSE.

Anyway, this past week was pretty good! It was urology, yeah, so lots of stuff with the male genitourinary tract…there were 6 of us altogether; 4 students and 2 AIs…who are actually in our class but technically MS4s. Dammit, I wanna be an MS4 too! DX Since those two actually wanted to go into urology, and since for me the less time in the OR the better, I pretty much hid away in clinic the entire time, haha. Except for the first day…the first day I was forced into a robotic prostatectomy. Which in of itself wasn’t bad…except that it ran from 8 AM to 3 PM. “OTL And my resident made me scrub in, just so I could sit next to him (as he changed the laprascopic tools that the chief resident and attending were using robotically) and answer his pimping questions as the daVinci removed the prostate. Ah well, at least I could answer most of them. But I definitely started out strong, and kind of faltered as “missed lunch hypoglycemia” set in. By the time I got out, I wasn’t even hungry anymore…hahahahaha, just kidding, I’m always hungry. I wolfed my curry down, chugged water, and reported for the next surgery.

Tuesday was a better day, because it was pretty much all day outpatient pediatric surgery clinic! So much secondary urinary incontinence! It’s usually secondary to constipation! MIRALAX FOR EVERYONE! COLON CLEANOUTS FOR ALL!

In the afternoon, I got to see an abscess removal. It was the size of my fingernail, on a young boy’s penis. How did it get there? No one knows. One possibility was there was trauma from a zipper that the parents didn’t notice, but the timeframe doesn’t match up; the parents say it appeared pretty much overnight. Mysterious…

Wednesday was another clinic day~ And in the afternoon, there was a testicular torsion emergency! =O The right one had torsed 180 degrees, and the left 720 degrees! Luckily, both were saved, so his fertility is intact! (The left one was super blue, too; but after it was untwisted, the pink color came back. It was pretty fantastic to see, haha.)

On Thursday, we got to see a laser lithotripsy, which is a fancy way of saying LASER THEM STONES, KYAHAHAHAHAHA!

…It looked a lot cooler in my head, haha. The stones were maybe 7 mm, and the laser maybe 0.5 mm. So instead of going “KA-BOOM”, it was more of a “pew pew pew”. I guess the coolest part was it actually made “pew pew pew” noises, haha. Gods, why am I such a child…

But clearly the intern doing the procedure has never played video games before, because she was having difficulty destroying the stones. (Dude, you just hold the A button with your right thumb while piloting the ship with your left on the analog stick. It’s like Star Fox, except without the barrel rolls! Hahaha…I really am a child.)

Afternoon was more clinic, heheheh. But Friday was a full day of procedures! Mostly circumcisions and orchopexies for undescended testes. Speaking of circumcisions, though, my residents say the rate is declining over the years. I mean, in America it’s done mostly for aesthetic purposes (as well as to decrease rates of bacterial infection, but mostly for appearances) whereas in Europe, most males still have their foreskin. I dunno, if I ever have a son, I guess I’d have him circumcised mostly because it seems like a lot of work to keep it clean. XD

On Saturday, I played tennis with Alan for the first time in who-knows-how-many months. And I suck terribly. Today I’m feeling it everywhere, haha. But at least I will just be studying today, so I can be sore for THAT. I’ve got to review some ENT material for my last week of surgery as well!

In other news, I got rejected from the psych AIs I applied for. Meh, that’s fine. More free time for me to do research in 4th year!

PFFFFT

YEAH RIGHT

WE ALL KNOW I’LL END UP WRITING MY NOVELS AND PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND WATCHING ALL THE ANIME I’M BEHIND ON.

But first, studying for the surgery shelf. See you all next week!

Most Sincerely,
Annette Liem

~Sarcastic Quote of the Week~
Chief resident (after seeing what appears to be a Jackson-Pratt drain going into a male’s urethra): “What have they done to our penis?!”

P.S. The newsletter title is a direct quote from one of the attendings regarding circumcision VS foreskin, haha. I'm not some kind of weirdo. Well, I *AM*, but not that bad.